Today is just one of ‘those’ days. A day when even thought the sky is blue my whole world appears to be one flat shade of grey. My depression can be like this, sneaking up out of a stressful moment to make an appearance days later. These are the days that I just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.
Chores get done. I plod through tasks, head down unwilling and by and large unable to look up. My world collapses to the edges of my task list and extends no further.
My thoughts go dull and I find myself fighting the tide of thoughts as they turn again and again to topics that I try to forget. Or at least I try not to wallow in them. Tears come easily on days like today, the well of sadness and despair seems to provide tears endlessly. I look for anything that can help pull me out of this space, and it always seems to be a doomed, or self-defeating proposition.
There is only one door marked ‘exit’ from this place. The rest of the time I simply have to hold on, persevere and hope that my mood lifts, tomorrow or the next day, or the next.
Depression is really a bitch.