Erosion: CPTSD in 100 words

“You won’t get it.” 
That was my father’s response when I told him I was among the finalists for 
the Morehead Scholarship to the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. 
This was a big deal. 
The full ride, a four-year scholarship covering tuition, books, room and board. 
It was proof. 
Wasn’t it? 
I had done well. 
I was worthy. 
Wasn’t I? 
My excitement, my hope for some sign of my value to him collapsed on his response. 
Not enough. Not I. Not ever. 
He was right.
I didn’t win the scholarship. 
I wasn’t enough.

Not for them. Not for him.

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