I suspect I should be feeling more. A curious gift of CPTSD is that when times are hard, when the world shakes, we carry on. After all, it’s just another day.
Fear can’t hold me. No emotion can.
My numbness lets me continue on, unaware that I am falling.
I was speaking with friends on-line about the terrible toll that 2020 has taken on all of us. Part of that conversation was the curiosity that this horrible year was for many of us just a confirmation that our view of the world as an inherently dangerous place was well founded.
As children who grew up in chaotic, neglectful or abusive homes we are prepared to keep going when it all goes to Hell. We learned early how to deal with chaos and crisis.