Essays: All of them

Essays

This page lists all essays by M.Stewart. They cover a range of topics from complex ptsd, to writing, to political analysis. Organize by title or category.

When you grow up in a minefield, it seems normal.

An Analogy: the Wetsuit

People often find it difficult to explain, or to understand Complex PTSD. I often find myself falling into metaphor or analogy to explain the experience. The reason for using an abstraction is because in Complex PTSD the particulars from one person to another vary – greatly. I have found that trying to paint a detailed … Continue reading An Analogy: the Wetsuit

white clouds and blue sky

By Jove – I think I finally get it.

This post is probably going to sound a lot like bragging – but I promise there is a point at the end… I am challenging myself to do ‘one big thing a day’. Why? Because I stand in amazement at what an ordinary human can accomplish in a morning. For decades I have watched friends … Continue reading By Jove – I think I finally get it.

beginning writer writing

The Beginning Writer: ah, humility

I am here at my desk taking big calming breaths as I look at a mountain. A figurative mountain, but still it is impressive and daunting in its size for a beginning writer. I have to climb it. It’s not a question of do I want to or do I not. It is a necessity. … Continue reading The Beginning Writer: ah, humility

Complex PTSD Survivor Voices vacant black and gray chair in room

Fierce Independence

A part of the Complex PTSD Survivor Voices Series. This strives to be a safe place for Complex PTSD survivors to write about their experiences. Our stories are as different as our journeys. What is Complex-PTSD by Anonymous Fierce independence and self-reliance are survival skills. We don’t see the rage or pain behind it, we … Continue reading Fierce Independence

Gabby Petito

Gabby Petito – Another Lost

The video of the stop in Moab Utah. Fair warning – It is hard to watch. I heard the news this morning about Gabby Petito as I checked my feeds. The confirmation of my worst fears was there, displayed on the screen. I heard there was a video of the interaction with law enforcement in … Continue reading Gabby Petito – Another Lost

Cover The Things We Keep

The Things We Keep

The Things We Keep, the premier novel of Ms. Julee Balko, is a story about grief, both that which we let go and that which we keep. The thread of grieving carries the story from far before we meet Serena to the final resolution of her own pain. As the reader progresses through the layers … Continue reading The Things We Keep

Healing the Invisible

After a few tries you wonder if the voices of the CPTSD are right. You fear you never will be ‘visible’.,, But, there is a tiny voice within undulled by all the abuses and fear that whispers – “Try.”

100-word Essay: Off The Rails

If you want to know more about this cycle within Complex-PTSD take a gander at this post.

Cover for Intense Transformation

Intense Transformation

This little book is rather like a HIIT workout itself. Short, intense, sometimes a challenge, but in the end, it is worth the work. For those that are not familiar with the term, H.I.I.T. stands for High-Intensity Interval Training. Many programs over the years have followed the HIIT principles. Among them, Crossfit, P90X, Tabata, and … Continue reading Intense Transformation

Ta Le – Book 1: Knowledge

I picked up the novel of Yessoh G.D. entitled “Ta Le” because I wanted to experience a culture that was not my own. I find myself torn about leaving this review because my background is not African and I’m wondering if I am missing something, or if I’m taking something for granted that is not … Continue reading Ta Le – Book 1: Knowledge

Cover for Dark Apprentice

Dark Apprentice

Wow, I really dislike Nikolai Fedorov. I know this guy. He is the guy who smirks when they think you can’t see. He is the guy convinced of their own superiority. From the first page to the last Nikolai, the main character, is both protagonist and antagonist in his own story. He undoes himself at … Continue reading Dark Apprentice

Cover for Steady

Steady

Steady: A Guide to Better Mental Health Through and Beyond the Coronavirus Pandemic by Dr. Sarb Johal is one of those books I wish everyone would read. 80% of the people around the globe would find some idea or thought within these pages that would help explain the currently fluid world we find ourselves within. … Continue reading Steady

light blue one use medical protective masks

Unpacking: COVID and ‘brain disease’

IF anything, this study has demonstrated that mental health is interwoven with physical health. The first order is to preserve life, but we must not abandon the fundamental human need to live.

Complex PTSD - balance

What is Complex-PTSD (CPTSD)

Definition of CPTSD Complex post traumatic stress disorder is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to prolonged, repeated experience of trauma in a context where the individual has little or no chance of escape. Honestly, I can’t remember if these are my words or not. Please tell me if they are yours. That … Continue reading What is Complex-PTSD (CPTSD)

Cover for Oathbreaker

Oathbreaker

If I was still giving my one line book reviews I would say Oathbreaker, the premier novel by author A.J. Rettger, was “Brain Popcorn.” I might even go with “Dark Brain Popcorn.” Oh, for simpler days.  I picked up Oathbreaker because that is exactly what I thought the story would be, light, fluffy not much … Continue reading Oathbreaker

Very Short Story : Dangerous

I will never be alone. I forevercarry my mother’s voice with me.In my head the word ‘danger’echoes, inescapable.Stairs, danger. Eating, danger.Ice, danger. People, danger.That word, her fear isher legacy to me. Feb. 2, 2021 Note: The VSS series is an outgrowth of writing prompts for Twitter. The goal is to produce a Tweet that fits within … Continue reading Very Short Story : Dangerous

Cover Wild Things Will Roam

Wild Things Will Roam

Wild Things Will Roam, the debut novel by K.M. West, is a post-apocalyptic gore fest with a soul. The surprises don’t stop there.

The Thinking Read

Off the rails : CPTSD Cycle

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a bitch. I was trying for something more academic sounding, but let’s face it, I’m not on that plane today. Nope, today is one of those days where I’m just trying to figure out where I put my sh*t. Or, more accurately, where I lost it. I know when. … Continue reading Off the rails : CPTSD Cycle

Zen Stones and a candle.

For my brother

Duane Robert Stewart October 16, 1964 – January 18, 2021 My brother died today and I wept for him, for us. For all the warm words we never exchanged, For all the jealousy we held for each other, For all the times pain was our only contact, For the words of hurt, For the thefts, … Continue reading For my brother

Touching base

Well, January 2021 certainly led off with a bang. I still see things on the horizon of concern. I’m trying very hard NOT to focus on those. Instead, I am head-down in editing my second novel while waiting somewhat patiently for my first novel to have a pre-order date. I’m also trying to remind myself … Continue reading Touching base

Picking up Clues: January 6, 2021

Holiday break is over. That means I am back at the keys. You can’t see me but I’m over here shaking my head because of the events in the US in the past 24 hours. I’m reading all my various news feeds and still head shaking. It’s mystifying – why are all these people acting … Continue reading Picking up Clues: January 6, 2021

Everyone else is just too tall

Several years ago I was introduced to the idea of “the culture of character” and its near opposite “the culture of personality.” Before I plunge into today’s societal navel-gazing it is worth the time to look at and define these two types of social structures. They may appear to some people to be synonymous. Other … Continue reading Everyone else is just too tall

In the can

CPTSD is a strange thing to grow up with. Even stranger to live with it. For Example: My latest InstagramPost- There it is the manuscript for Book 4 in the Unhomed series. Still debating titles. I do like to stick with one word – but this particular word is proving elusive.Despite that this manuscript will … Continue reading In the can

Thanksgiving rewritten and CPTSD

As many of my readers will know, Thanksgiving is not my favorite holiday. Putting my family together with the expectations of a celebration to rival the covers of the Saturday Evening Post never worked out well. It was more like a production of The Crucible. For many years, and I know I’m not alone in … Continue reading Thanksgiving rewritten and CPTSD

Poem Autumn

Two paths diverged in a yellow wood

I love the poem The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost which contains the line used for the title. The simple idea that we all face choices that define our lives. Those choices can be momentous or tiny. They can be so small that at the time we didn’t notice that we had made a … Continue reading Two paths diverged in a yellow wood

Loading…

Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.

Leave a Reply