Another dayAnother ten roundsEven when you can’tYou don’t want To fight. Any more. No mas. No mas. Those are the daysTo fight the hardest. We fight to live.
Between the ideaAnd the realityBetween the motionAnd the actFalls the shadow ~TS Eliot (The Hollow Men) That space betweenA pointOf precarious balanceWhere we existBoth alive and not. ~ M.Stewart (on complex-ptsd)
Coming Alive Amidst a Pandemic.
Oh, the irony. Thirty plus years of Being various degrees of suicidal And now we have a pandemic Upending the world I want to live.
A Mashup of Thoughts on Kanye, Mental Health, and Something My First Therapist Said That Blew My Mind.
This might not be my most coherent essay. It’s more some random thoughts that all got mashed together. So, the first item is a discussion that I had with friends over on Facebook about Kanye. Let me give you a recap: Friend 2: He is. So, why doesn’t he do something about it? Friend 3: He…
Guest Post: from Carrie About Anxiety and Masks
I keep seeing people complaining that they can’t breathe in face masks. They describe feeling light headed, they fear that they’re not getting enough oxygen. They describe feeling tightness in their chests, tingling in their extremities. They feel confused and claustrophobic. Baby, that’s not oxygen shortage, you’re just having an anxiety response. Welcome to the…
A Christmas Story for the CPTSD community
Once, long ago in a place far, far away from reality, there was a young woman and her new husband. Outside their home, in the dark of winter, the wind howled and the snow swirled forming little peaks across the fields. Inside their little home, the cold was kept at bay by curtains and thick…
CPTSD : Paradox #2
The turmoil of having an anxious/ambivalent attachment style is in some ways worse than those these folks have in their relationship with others. The internal conflicts involving panic that a partner will leave them and fighting to contain the behaviors that ensue from that panic are horrendous. They have an inner conflict going on all…
CPTSD : Action / Inaction Paradox
I have cptsd and I want to save everyone. When I read through the thoughts and questions posted here my heart breaks. I know the loneliness some of you are going through. I know that feeling of ‘not enough’. I know that place where laying down and just ending is the most appealing wish to…
Small: CPTSD in 100 words
How do I explain the limits that a child places on themselves when faced with a certainty of violence? I tried to survive by becoming small. I didn’t share the backseat with my brother. I cringed in the corner between the seat and the door. I curled into a knot. Tighter, smaller so I presented…