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CPTSD Paradox #1
Since they never develop a sense of safety, they distrust others while simultaneously searching for a “rescuer” who can finally give them the unconditional positive regard they were robbed of in childhood. ~National Center for PTSD
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100 Words: Safe
With two words you have unmade me. All my armor is stripped away, my defenses lay at my feet.
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100 Words: Rising Tide
As a child my task was to conform myself to my confinement.
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CPTSD : The Positives We Have Learned
Weird title, right? I saw a thread over on Twitter, some of you all may have seen or participated in it as well. What it was about was looking at the positive side of the traits of CPTSD that we have. I was skeptical at first. It struck me as rather ‘wishful thinking’. But, I…
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CPTSD: Growing up in a Minefield
I don’t know when I discovered that not everyone had a family like mine. But, I do remember the shock. The disbelief that other people didn’t have to hide or make themselves invisible rocked me to my core. I always thought my childhood was good. To admit that my family had problems and that those…
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A Christmas Story for the CPTSD community
Once, long ago in a place far, far away from reality, there was a young woman and her new husband. Outside their home, in the dark of winter, the wind howled and the snow swirled forming little peaks across the fields. Inside their little home, the cold was kept at bay by curtains and thick…
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CPTSD : Action / Inaction Paradox
I have cptsd and I want to save everyone. When I read through the thoughts and questions posted here my heart breaks. I know the loneliness some of you are going through. I know that feeling of ‘not enough’. I know that place where laying down and just ending is the most appealing wish to…
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100 Words: Not Enough
“You won’t get it.” That was my father’s response when I told him I was among the finalists forthe Morehead Scholarship to the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. This was a big deal.The full ride, a four-year scholarship covering tuition, books, room and board.It was proof.Wasn’t it?I had done well.I was worthy.&Wasn’t I? My…
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Instead of Mother’s Day / Father’s Day
That’s it. No more Mother’s Day for me. No more Father’s Day for me. I’m done. I know I can’t be the only person who watches their social media feeds fill up with heartfelt tributes to moms and dads, and feel, well, left out. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for me are not filled with…