Nailed in the past… a paradox

This is one of those things that when I think about my Complex-PTSD should have been obvious. How I missed it for so long really confounds me.

I often talk about the paradoxes that arise in C-PTSD. Here I have stumbled into another one. It goes something like this.

Huh. I just realized how weird it is to live with one foot nailed in the past when you can’t remember any of it.



You feel it, 

the first tug pulling you down.

What was the trigger? A word? A thought?

Your thoughts race. 

One mental hand 

tries to bail while 

the other pulls 

in the futile 


to steer 


from your 

internal Charybdis.

Your mind watches, detached, as you 

draw closer, swirling, circling. 

Whether you fight or you surrender, 

you know you will drown.

Drawn down into those dark waters where 

nothing escapes and no light penetrates, 

where the monsters dwell.